Biceps and Abs and Pecs, oh my!
I’ve got a bone to pick with Out Magazine and The Advocate. Yes, I subscribe to both magazines and yes, I read both magazines (for the articles, I swear!). However, when I read these magazines, I tend to get kinda pissed off. I mean, the content is fine and everything and the articles are really well-written, but…the advertisements. The advertisements really get to me.
Now, I know that’s kind of an innocuous thing by which to be annoyed, but look at them. Go ahead and take a look at them. I’ll give you some time. If you don’t happen to have one of them, check out their websites. Go ahead. I’ll wait a couple of minutes.
*files nails*
Oh good, you’re back. How was it? Did you enjoy the advertisements? Did you love looking at all those buff, shirtless, smooth-chested men enjoying themselves on the gay cruise? What about all the buff, shirtless, smooth-chested men modeling clothes? Or, my particular favorite: the buff, shirtless, smooth-chested man hawking life insurance for gay men with HIV.
So, you might have loved looking at that, and that’s what advertisers are banking on: superficial gay men who are only going to do something because “hot” “built” “gay” “men” do it. And don’t get me wrong. I’m pretty superficial. If I see a guy walking past me and he’s hot, I will probably ogle him. But in these advertisements, the messages that I get are “if you want to have a happy, fulfilling life as a gay man, you need to have a 40-inch chest, washboards abs and be able to bench-press a fatty.” And that’s not fair. Maybe I’m biased because I’m a skinny-minnie who can bench-press 70 pounds on a good day, my skin tone is uneven and my arms are like limp spaghetti noodles, and it took me two months of cardio and ab workouts (plus a diet of more protein than I’ve ever eaten in my life) to have two visible abs, let alone eight. Plus all those weird side muscles that buff guys get.
As a less-than-gorgeous gay man, does that mean I’m not allowed to be happy? To have a relationship with the perfect guy? And for that matter, what is the perfect guy? If I’m judging it by these ad standards, I shouldn’t be happy with anyone less than someone who can grate cheese on their midsection. (For the record: I am not “attacking” men who have this kind of body. If you have this kind of body? More power to you. I wish I could have that body, too. I just wish that advertisers would realize that there are average gay men, too).
Well screw that. I’m a tall, skinny, muscle-toneless homo and happy with that. Isn’t that enough?
Well…isn’t it?
- Stephen
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