When to tell him you like porn?
Image courtesy of Raging Stallion; click for full gallery
When do you tell him you like porn? I can’t shake the feeling that guys think I’m some kind of pervert for loving porn. Usually, when I meet a guy I like, I hide any traces of porn there might be in the apartment. (Discs, old movies, anything on the computer in case he wants to check his email.)
I’m a bit torn if he brings up a porn star, or site. I can’t lie and say “Oh, yeah, those men are handsome, but I’m not really interested in watching them.” At the same time, I don’t want to say, “Fuck, yeah, I love jacking off to Raging Stallion clips. Want to watch one now?” What’s even stranger is, even if I meet a guy who likes porn, I’m afraid to admit to liking it as well. This either makes me a hypocrite or ashamed of myself for indulging in porn.
All of this makes me wonder, how many men (and straight women and men) lie about watching porn? We all know what a huge business it is, yet most gay men I know tell me they know nothing about it—don’t know the names or faces or porn sites. Among guys I’m not dating, I have no qualms about talking about porn. But sometimes I do and I get this really blank stare, like I’ve just said I’m into necrophilia. Then I feel stupid, and try to redact what I’ve said by adding, “It’s become very mainstream, and I like to stay informed of what and who is popular.” I walk away from those arguments thinking they’re all going to talk about me in emails as the pervert friend who likes to jerk off to porn.
What do you think? Are people lying when they say they aren’t interested in porn? And is it okay to tell someone you’re dating that you like porn? Ah, screw it: I think I will. A man should like me for who I am.
-David
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