Spitting: A New Appreciation
Image courtesy of Randy Blue
I’ve never been a spitter. I personally don’t see why people would spit after a blowjob. I mean, if it’s taste or texture I could certainly understand. If it’s an STD thing, I’m like, “Just put a damn condom on it because even just getting cum in your mouth is a bad idea and if you’re that worried about an STD then wrap it like the Christmas present you don’t intend to open because you’re no fun whatsoever and you might as well just eat a hot dog.”
Anyway, I’m a swallower. I think it’s just as enjoyable for me as it is for the guy I’m blowing. I like the taste, I like the texture and I like the noises guys make when their cock is shooting in my mouth while I’m swallowing.
Oh hi, by the way: there’s going to be some TMI in this post. :D
All that said, recently I had my tonsils removed. Forgetting about all the other implications behind that (no talking, no good foods, no getting head) I also learned just how incredibly difficult it is to spit. Do you realize that it takes more muscles to spit than to swallow?! It’s true! Your body’s natural mechanism is to swallow, your throat is built for it (so all of you who don’t swallow? You’re spitting in the face of Nature). All you have to do is use your tongue to push stuff to the back of your throat, open your throat and then close it. Gravity takes care of the rest.
Spitting, though…spitting is a different bird entirely, especially if you need to hock a loogie to clear all the spit out of your mouth (or semen, if that’s what’s in there). In addition opening then constricting your throat in one rapid movement to get the “oomph” that you need to expel expectorants, you also need to vibrate throat muscles in order to get that “chchchchchchchch” sound that says “I’m building up a really good hork.” Then you have to, like, make your tongue wave and there’s all this other stuff and THEN you have to use all of those muscles again to spit all that shit out. It’s like an hour long weight workout at the gym!
And let me tell you what. After a tonsillectomy, your throat is filled with mucus and bacteria, plus it hurts to swallow. But guess what? You can’t spit even more than you can’t swallow! You can only take what’s on your tongue, push it to your lips and kind of “pbtllll” it out.
So the next time you’re busting on people who don’t swallow? Think about what it would be like if you didn’t have the option. If that option got ripped away from you. And I tell you what, the next time I give head? I’mma spit, just for the hell of it.
-Stephen
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