- First Impression
I grew up with the phrase that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all, but if I took that adage to heart my review of StraightBoysPorn.com would have to end here and that just wouldn’t make my editor very happy. It’s hard to mess up porn considering that even the worst sex is better then almost anything else in the world, but when you create a website this sub par it is almost a waste of time and energy. There are a few decent boys to look at, but that is pretty much where the compliments stop. Even if you really like that malnourished look of many young Euro boys, I suspect that this site would still not be the ultimate fantasy you were hoping for. - Navigation
When you create a website in this millennium it should follow a few simple rules. First it should be easy to use, compatible with different computer types, easily adaptable to new trends and something that people will find enjoyable and will want to keep coming back to. StraightBoysPorn.com pretty much violates all of these rules. The site has large thumbnail pictures of all of the scenes and when you click on them you can download or stream from the site. The downloads take FOREVER, so I would suggest the streaming option. There isn’t a lot of content so there are no search engines to speak of and you can click tabs to see photo galleries of the of the lackluster scenes. The site is pretty straightforward in that My-First-Website by Hasbro sort of way, so at least it has that going for it. -
- Content
There are only 11 videos so far on StraightBoysPorn.com with new updates added about once a month. The scenes are pretty short and are mostly just jerk off duos of young looking guys on the same cum soaked couch. As I said, the scenes take forever to download and once they do, they are a little nonplussed in their execution. The boys don’t seem to be having any fun at all which is a huge let down for viewers and with limited camera angels sometimes it is hard to see exactly what is going on. There are also about 24 photo galleries that go along with the scenes and pretty much just recap the action. There is nothing special or alluring about the content at all even if you are a Euro twink fan, which is another disappointing aspect of this site. The site boasts the fact that these scenes were shot in HD, but if that is the case then Europe must have a different definition of HD because the scenes look like they may have been filmed on beta max. There is nothing interesting, or exciting about StraighBopysPorn.com and the few things that they do have going for it are quickly negated by the shoddy production value and the boring sex. At least the site is simple enough that you can get on and get off quickly, if you chose to get on at all. -
- Guys and Sex
These are not the most homely looking Euro Twinkies I have ever seen, and in fact some of them are even cute-ish, but the sex is so uninspiring and monotonous that it is hard to get past that to see if the boys are even attractive. Even in the thumbnail pictures, which are supposed to be enticing to the audience, you can tell that the guys just aren’t into the action. They are supposed to be first time straight boys experiencing gay sex, which they may just be, but still some passion would be suspected or what is even the point of filming it? The guys all pretty much look the same right down to their Euro mullets, and although they suck and kiss and even fuck, they just look like they are training at some prison camp dedicated to producing boy porn. There is almost no variety and the sex just isn’t anything to write home about. -
- Value
Okay, so this is where I am most flabbergasted by the gall of the creators of StraightBoysPorn.com. I was thinking that given the VERY limited content and the cheap production value that this would be one of those bargain basement $9.99 for three hundred website cheap things, but no. This site is $25.95 a month and from what I can tell you don’t get any bonus material. There are a few pictures sent in by members and some additional content, which is just as unstimulating as that on the site itself, but this is hardly worth the price. -
- Overall Impression
Sex is never bad, but with this site it makes it seem like a chore. The boys are not engaged or engaging and the site itself is cheap and unappealing. If it didn’t cost as much as some of the top named porn companies that would be one thing, but it does, so that is just another reason not to sign up. The boys are decent looking, but unless you are just really are hard up I would say that this site is a total waste of time. -
- Bottom Line
This site features monotonous sex delivered by boring Euro boys presented on one of the cheapest yet most expensive sites around. You can sign up for this site or you can organize your silverware drawer. -
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