Main Menu

· Top Categories ·

· Browse a Category ·

· Hot Site To Watch ·

Fresh SX
Fresh SX porn review
Category: DVD Porn
Read Review

· Top Sellers ·

· Top Videos ·

· Top Picture Galleries ·

Crotch Buffet
Crotch Buffet porn review

Crotch Buffet

Patrick of describes himself as "the true man's voyeur," and he's been searching the world for exhibitionists to satisfy his craving.

Main Category: Amateur Boys
Sub Categories: Blowjobs, Hardcore Sex, Jocks/Frat Boys, Masturbation, Twinks 18+
Site type: Network (Male Unit)
Launched: July 2006
Reviewed: March 11, 2011
Facts Updated: November 7, 2011
Full Review of Crotch Buffet by Stephen Mar 11, 2011
My Score: 70.5 Bookmark and Share

Forum Discussion

First Impression

When you're ready to be a parent be it natural, adoptive, canine or feline (hey, I treat my cat just like a kid and she's dependent on me like a parent; if only I could claim her as a dependent on my taxes), you need to be ready to name your kid/pet something that they can live up to.  I mean, there are standard names like Matt, John, Sarah whatever and that's not something you really have to worry about.  But when you start naming your daughter something like Mercedes, you gotta be careful.  She could end up being really gorgeous and sassy and like whoa, but she could also end up being really unfortunate-looking and nerdy and then people are like "Why didn't you name her Jeep?"  You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but a name is a first impression.  And for a paysite, with a name like, well…it's a little bit like, "Hey Stephen, you want a snack?"  "No thanks, I just got filled up at the Crotch Buffet.  So good.  You should see the dessert bar!"


Navigating to Crotch Buffet's homepage, the design starts out holding that idea of food.  The header features a guy holding a bunch of bananas over his twig and berries, holding a cucumber next to his ass (just throwing subtlety right out the window there) and then a guy holding a…pineapple?  Over his crotch?  Okay.  And then there's one where he's holding a carton of eggs over his junk and the unintentional joke there is hilarious.  And…that pretty much ends the food there.  The site owner has apparently been prowling the world for exhibitionists in order to satisfy his own appetite for the male body.  I get that the idea is that we'll be able to choose from a buffet of crotch and that's cool and all, but let's not be obvious, especially when they payoff might not be what one expects.  That said, the design is, simply, beautiful.  There's this teal, orange and dark green palette that shouldn't be working, but it is.  I think it just works really well with the flesh tones.

Logging in, all that goes away.  Crotch Buffet is a member of the Male Unit Network.  Logging in doesn't actually get you to the Crotch Buffet website, it gets you to Crotch Buffet's section of the network.  The site design is minimal and that's sad because…well, I really liked the design at the homepage.  It worked really well and now that it's not here it's like the site is missing something.  It's the old bait and switch.  I'll tempt you with this apple, but surprise! The apple is poison.  Okay, maybe it's not quite that extreme, but it saddens me.  Luckily, the navigation is fairly simple; at least the site is easy to use.


Content at Crotch Buffet is pretty minimal (61 videos, 6 photo sets and 13 DVDs) as are their modes of delivery.  Videos and DVD content can be streamed online or downloaded in hi or lo def for Windows Media Player or your mobile phone (because nothing says classy and fabulous like porn on the go).  Something that I really love while streaming the videos online is if you want to jump around on the video, putting your cursor on the playbar will show a screenshot of that particular moment.  In that manner, you can find exactly what you're looking for within the streaming video.  Watching the photos is a bit annoying.  Click on them opens it up in its own little slide show, but you have to progress the slide show manually.  There's no bulk download option, either.

Guys and Sex

With the photos, chances are you might not want to bulk download them anyway.  The six photo sets all feature the same guy.  I mean that's cool and all, the guy is hot.  But it's just him doing the same thing over and over again (except for the one set that has a cucumber and a pineapple; no seriously, there's a pineapple covering his dick; no, I really don't know why, I don't know who said, "You know what would be sexy? If we rested a pineapple on the small of your back").  THe videos and the DVD are surprisingly hot.  At some point, "buffet" segued into "orgy" and it works pretty well.  Occasionally there are some food scenes (ol' pineapple dick himself Benoit Lapierre fucks a watermelon) but the best scenes are the orgy scenes.  And occasionally the really dirty videos where guys get a nut busted across his face and doesn't care if some of it gets in his mouth..  It's unfortunate, then, that Crotch Buffet hasn't updated its site in two years because they've got a gem of a site on their hands.


As I mentioned before, member's access to Crotch Buffet actually gets you access to Male Unit Network and the 17 websites that fall under its domain, including Club Hunter Wylde, Twink Clinic and Bareback 101.  Sadly, like Crotch Buffet, some of the other sites seem to be slow to update as well.  In fact, the most recent update was 4 months ago.  There are a ton of other bonus features as well, nearly too many to mention.  It's a fun little game to play, what's around the corner and what else can you find.  Despite the lack of updates, there's still plenty of material to fap it out.

Bottom Line

CrotchBuffet isn't quite as delicious as it sounds, but there are still some pretty tasty morsels and there's more than enough to keep you going back for one more plate.  Pile it up and satisfy yourself.

Visit Crotch Buffet

Crotch Buffet Site Details: What you get for your money

Update frequency: Daily Network Updates

Exclusivity: Mostly Exclusive

Number of videos: 61 (avg. 20 minutes)

Maximum Video Resolution: 720x480

Videos have watermarks

Download limit: None

Video DRM: None

Video Formats: WM / MPEG / Flash / POP / IPod

Video Type: Downloadable / Streaming

Number of galleries: 6 (avg. 50 pics per gallery)

Pictures have watermarks

Only one picture size

No slideshows

Offers zip files


Visit Crotch Buffet

· Score Breakdown ·

Wonder how we determine the individual score for each criteria? Click here to see our criteria clarifier.

· Pricing ·

Trial : $2.95 (2 days)

(recurrs at 39.95)

3 month: $59.95


Year : $89.50 Monthly : $19.95


· Company ·

· Top Model Searches ·

1. Cody Cummings -
2. Arpad Miklos +26
3. Kris Evans +4
4. Christian Wilde +4
5. Tommy Defendi +22
6. Samuel O'Toole -4
7. Trystan Bull -3
8. Rod Daily -2
9. Paul Wagner +2
10. Topher DiMaggio +20
11. Marcus Mojo -1
12. Cliff Jensen +11
13. Brandon Lewis +2
14. Jae Landen -
15. James Jamesson -12

Go to: Models / Pornstars