- First Impression
Why is everything—everything!—better in Europe? Their teen pregnancy rate is low, their health care is better, the food is beyond delicious and the accents are sexy as fuck…no matter what, it’s far superior to whatever America has to offer. It stands to reason, then, that their porn is better. I mean, even if you’re just look at the home page of your average European porn site and it’s plastered with hot guys with gorgeous dicks and even though that’s the homepage of every porn site, you know it’s just a little bit better because it’s European.
- Navigation
ClubEurocreme.com is somewhere right in between there. The guys are hot, to be sure, but the site itself is kind of “enh.” The aesthetic is nearly non-existent, though the lack of color and site design originality is more than made up for by the models and the videos. The site design—a white interface in front of a blue background fading down into white—is certainly nothing original or exciting. More than likely intended to create a clean, simple and sophisticated look, it comes across more as “Read how you can make $10,000 a month without leaving the comfort of your home!” The site layout itself is a little cluttered as well: at the top of the homepage is the most recent update, with “Coming soon” off to the left. Below all of that are six other previous updates. All of these videos feature what I’ve come to refer to as The Blue Bar of approval: a numerical rating of how great the video was. You can play the video, or you can preview it. This layout stays similar for the “movies” tab as well. The clutter comes in where the layout of the pages could be a little sleeker; a little less Renee Zellweger in Jerry Maguire and a little more Renee Zellweger in “I just at a Tic Tac, and I’m stuffed.” -
- Content
The videos are pretty hot. They have to be, by nature, because it’s a European porn site and it’s basically a requirement that anyone wanting to be in front of the camera be blazing. The site does give you plenty of viewing options for the movies: you can download videos utilizing Windows Media Player, Flash or stream the video live from the website via Quicktime. Each video page includes screen shots of the movie. Some people might find this nice, to perhaps look and see what you and your dick will be getting itself into. -
- Guys and Sex
The videos themselves are the stars of the website. Well-lit and well-shot with minimal shaking and very limited graininess. The guys are hot and—yes—European, but they love to have sex. That’s easy to tell. A lot of professional gay websites consist of sex between two men in which both men seem to have no interest whatever in fucking. At Club Eurocreme, though, the guys are ripped, hung, and super excited to be indulging in a time-honored tradition: man-on-man sex. They recognize a cute bubble butt when they see one, and they’re more than willing to pop it. -
- Value
Other features offered by the website besides the homepage and movies page include a section devoted to “The Boys.” Click on this link brings you to a page filled with—you guessed it—boys. Every model portrayed in every video can be found in this section. Thanks to these efforts, I now know that the hot guy with dark eyes and hair who I want all over me is named Stefan Anderson. These content are pretty minimal, though, and almost unnecessary. Sure, these pages list what movie and any photo sets in which that model can be found, but that’s about it. Nothing about age, sex, ethnicity, etc. For someone such as myself who likes to collect information, I’m frustrated that I can’t learn more about the actors, like their dick size. I mean, is there anything else anyone really wants or need in this world?
Other sections offered include a site called “Perfect Boys” which, apparently, is the official blog of Club Eurocreme. The majority of the blog entries seem to consist of recaps of the videos which is kind of nice, but is just an extension of the word preview already provided. There’s also a bonus section which allows its website members to download up to five different erotic screen savers for free (as free as they can be, considering you have to pay for a membership). -
- Bottom Line
All that said, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in France. -
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